Has online dating and the use of Tinder ruined dating for men?
I want to share with you my experience using the app, along with talk about a bunch of negatives to online dating and a bunch of positives. Have a listen and decide for yourself. Do you bring the right attitude into dating? How has your experience of Tinder and online dating been? Is Tinder ruining dating for men?
And how it’s causing you to work harder at forming meaningful relationships.
Around 36% of Canadians use online dating, and it’s no surprise given the Global pandemic that has caused us to socialize less and approach dating in a new way.
With rising social anxieties, many dealt with the first phase of lockdown alone and realized how awful it was to sit at home, every night without someone special to share it with.
Many of us have forgotten the important skill of having a healthy conversation. Where we once had multiple interactions and small talk without much hesitation, say in the locker room, or the coffee shop, now, it seems, it causes us to feel a rise in anxiety.
For many of my clients, it has made small talk in dating apps feel more laborious and painful. Many men are reported that they don’t even know what to say when matched with a potential partner. What is an appropriate first date? How soon should I suggest we meet in person? Should I mention if I am vaccinated or not?
It’s feeling tough out there.
Apps have expanded to allow video chat
In order to respond to the difficulties of meeting in person and staying socially distant, many apps, including Hinge and now Tinder has adapted to include video chat.
Men and women are choosing to set up first-dates on video and are spending time getting to know each other this way before choosing to meet in person.
The question is, is this a good or bad change?
The positives are nobody needs to worry about splitting the bill, where to go on your date and whether you’ll have to contend with an award first kiss or a request for sex. It also promoted forming meaningful connections that are not simply based on sexual attraction, but something more.
However, it’s also now easier to hide behind the excuse of the pandemic. Those that may be nervous to go on dates can use dating apps to chat and connect but never takes things further. It’s a big frustration when you put time and energy into getting to know someone and it never progresses.
Can we truly form connections with people without meeting them in person? I would argue we can, but it takes a different approach.
The swipe culture has already shifted how we look at potential partners, and the pandemic has definitely changed how people choose to interact.
People dating now are actually having to learn how to work at their relationships
The pandemic has brought a lot of new stresses on couples. Many who are newly dating are contending with new work-from-home routines or changes to their regular schedules. So this brings a whole set of new frustrations to the courtship process.
Couples are being tested even earlier on in their relationship. Do they share the same views on the pandemic and mask mandate? Do they live together and have strong boundaries around personal space? Are they meeting friends and family and integrating their social lives earlier or later than normal?
Couples are needing to work on their relationships in a new way. Being able to communicate well has always been important – but it’s more important now than ever. Learning how to approach conflict in a major test for couples during this pandemic.
Approaching women in public is more challenging
What’s happened to the old-fashioned way of picking up women?
Many of the men I’ve coached over the last six months have reported feeling more awkward about approaching women in public.
They fear offending a woman they approach, getting too close and making things feel uncomfortable or simply coming off as creepy because they are wearing a mask. This is leading to higher anxieties and a lack of social skills with many men.
How do you handle asking women out in public? Do you avoid it at all costs, or is this something you do with ease? Have a listen to today’s episode, where I share 5 useful tips to consider if you want to ask women out (the non-sleazy way!)
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Have you ever heard of polarity in relationships? Yin and Yang? Feminine and Masculine? If not, tune into today’s episode, where Tim and I chat about polarity in relationships, what this means, and some other important conversations around emotional validation and dating. Plus, we also dive into the Australian culture, where men are not taught enough about vulnerability and emotional expression.
